Hot tubs and expectations

     Well, last night was the best! I came home, and we soaked in the hot tub for hours.
     The stars and the moon were spectacular, and the water soothed my aches and pains.
     We only just got our hot tub on Sunday, and last night was the first night for us to be in it. LOVELY.
     Yesterday, I did squeeze in a walk, did not drink enough water, and ate OK.
     I have decided that once school is out I am definitely joining Weight Watchers. I know that's the sort of structure and kick in the butt I need, and I know there is no way I can do it during the next couple of weeks.
     I also am excited to start a new exercise program. I am having summer workouts with my cheerleaders.
     The nice thing for me is that I cannot just skip it because I have others counting on me.
     That brings us back, AGAIN, to the ancient question of why can't I consider myself important enough to count on myself?
     As in, I know I won't miss workouts because of the kids, but I will when it's just me. GO FIGURE.
     For now, I am just trying to maintain and not gain. I desperately need to go to the gym to weigh, but I VERY much don't want to know the number.
     But, I know it's high, probably higher than it has ever been, at least that is how I and my clothes feel.
     The good thing is that I am not beating myself up about this. I am really happy right now with everything else in my life.
     I am finding inspiration all over, and I have been reading lots about various people who have lost have their size or at least 100 pounds.
     I will figure it out.