Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Frankly, Scarlett, I do give a damn!

I am now officially down 43 pounds. Tomorrow it will be exactly four months from my original weigh-in. I was recently on a crazy plateau. I seriously would lose two pounds, gain two pounds, lose a pound, gain .4 of a pound, lose a pound, gain 1.2 for an ENTIRE month. It was so entirely frustrating because I was doing everything I was supposed to be doing. In the end, I think I might have at times been eating too under my calories.

The big deal for me...I didn't give up. I just kept plugging along and HATING my scale--who by the way is now named Scarlett, after one of my all-time favorite characters, who I believe truly demonstrates GRIT! I refused to give in. I refused to be defeated. I have something I need to do, and by golly, I'm gonna do it. NO MATTER HOW LONG IT TAKES!

It was a month of Miss Scarlett not cooperating or worse...giving some false hope only to then viciously take it away, and then BAM! The plateau was over. AND, I mean over. I lost 6 pounds in one week. I have never had that happen before. I blasted out of the 230s and am now sitting in the mid-220s all within one week.

Six pounds in a week is an enormous loss. But, considering my goal is 1.5 pounds a week, that six pounds was the MONTH-long plateau I was living. The weight was just hanging out, taunting me, and when it could finally see that I WAS NOT GIVING UP, it just fell off. Bye, bye!

At the moment, Scarlett and I are friends. I know it's not all about the number, but I don't really care what people think. The number matters to me. At least it does right now during this part of my journey. Maybe when I get to where I want to go, it won't matter as much.

Thursday, April 23, 2015

What I love about losing weight...
  • Stress-free dressing in the morning :)
  • More energy
  • Feel better about myself

Tuesday, April 21, 2015


I've always been busy, but maybe not so active at times. I mean we are not talking SLOTH lazy, but I can definitely now see a difference in my activity level.

Of course, it's all a cycle. You work out, you lose weight, you have more energy, you do more! I have always been BUSY, but that's not the same as ACTIVE, right?!

I like how that has shifted in my life. I enjoy being active. I've always enjoyed being active. Just sometimes I have lost the motivation and forgot the joy.

Now, I want to work out two or three times or even more a day. Not fanatically or like some sort of disorder status, but rather if I am going to watch a tv show, why not jump on the bike? Even if just for part of the show!

I was just talking with good friends who have both been healthy ALL of their lives. They work out every day. They always have and always will. They get up in the morning at 5:30 a.m. on work days to make sure the workout happens. That's how we started talking about it in the first place because I mentioned how I HAVE TO work out in the morning, and then if I can work out in the afternoon or evening, I will add that in as a second workout.

I really have always admired their commitment to fitness, and as we were talking, I realized--though my commitment is quite new in comparison to them--that I was JUST LIKE THEM. Holy sneakers, I am committed to working out every day, and I'm doing that!

Now I am seeing that this shift is spreading out into other avenues of my life. Our vacation on Spring Break was FULL of activity, and it was one of the best vacations we have ever had! I walked every morning on the beach. We swam in the pool. I worked out in the gym at our resort. We played catch on the beach (this was my favorite). We played Laser Tag--HOLY OXYGEN needed! We drove the go-karts, which uses more muscles than I thought. We hiked. We shopped. ACTIVE, I tell ya :)

Last Friday I took a group of drama kids from school over to Spokane. It was an adventurous day for sure! We played Laser Tag (I was sweating buckets!), we jumped at Get Air--OMGAWSH this was so much fun, and I even tried the slackline, which was SO HARD!), and we went on our tour of the theater before watching the show.

The kids all said the trip was one of the best. And, you know what?! IT WAS! We were so active, and we had so much fun. And, MOST of what we did meant we had to be UNPLUGGED! I love it!

We've been talking about our family summer vacation, and what we want to do this year and where we are going to go. I'm super stoked because so far our options all include SUPER FUN and ACTIVE things for us to do!

I'm totally digging this shift in life. It feels good. It feels fun. It feels right!

Monday, April 20, 2015

Love/Hate relationship
I love my scale. I hate my scale. I love that it gives accurate feedback. I hate how it doesn’t always reflect my hard work.

I do know FOR ME that I have to weigh each day—just once, in the morning. I have to. It’s my personal accountability. I did go for a week of not weighing when I went on vacation. And, don’t kid yourself…I SERIOUSLY considered packing my scale and taking it with me.

In the end, I decide to leave it home, and I did lose ONE pound after a week of eating whatever I wanted (though I really MOSTLY ate within reason and my normal kind of stuff with just a few delights). I am not ashamed to say that I missed my scale.

I will admit that I have some serious roller coaster moments and mini-anxiety each morning when I go to weigh. I have been on such a plateau lately that really I find myself disappointed—almost heartbroken. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I worked out for two hours yesterday, I ate within or below my caloric range, and you want to tell me that I gained weight? HOW DARE YOU?!?

 I know I shouldn’t stress, and I know that I am doing all the right things, but it really ticks me off how I can gain two pounds in one day and take two weeks to lose those same two pounds. SIGH.

I also know that I shouldn’t focus on the number. I know this. I’m not obsessed. But, I want progress and the number on the scale is ONE form of progress. I think a good analogy is the testing we have our kids do. It’s a score, and we can see improvement and even when we either hold steady or regress. However, it’s not the only thing to look at when assessing growth and learning. We can use class grades—still not always a true indicator of potential or ability. And, some things we JUST SEE. We JUST KNOW.

I guess those would be the non-scale victories, right? The scale not moving, but the pant sizes changing. The scale not moving, but the compliments coming in daily. The FEELING better and healthier.

I can’t go without weighing because I feel like I would lose control…I would not be as serious about all of my health and fitness goals. I will say that if I have a gain (which LOGICALLY I understand how the body works, and I know that I can have a gain one day and a huge loss the next day), at any rate, a gain will make me STAY FOCUSED, keep the course that day. Though at first I may feel a bit deflated, it actually makes me MORE focused and driven to keep doing what I know I need to do. I know I will get there, and thankfully those NSVs keep me going, too.

I kind of feel like maybe I should name my scale. We do have a personal relationship after all.  

Monday, April 13, 2015

100 Days

     When I think of 100 days, so much comes to mind. The fun 100 days of school where kids bring in various assortments of a hundred items like cereal or cars or pennies or whatever. I think of the book 100 Years of Solitude by Marquez, which I realize doesn't match the 100 DAYS bit, but it comes to mind.      So, it's been FOREVER and a day, or a couple HUNDRED, since I've last blogged. If we are being all technical about it...it's actually been 612 days, but WHO is counting--I honestly used one of those handy dandy online duration calculators, because YES, I really wanted to know :)
     For now, I just want to focus on the past year from April of 2014 until now. I can honestly say that last year was the MOST difficult year of my life. I faced more than what felt like my share of personal tragedies and challenges.
      During this year of tests, I did challenge myself to find the KIND and GOOD things in a world that felt like it could be absent of anything positive. I posted on my personal FB for 100 days in a row of "Kinder than Necessary" posts. And, thankfully, it did carry me through a pretty dark time.
     The past year wasn't all hard, and there were some INCREDIBLE high points. My youngest son and his soon-to-be wife both graduated from OSU with honors and degrees in Animal Science. They were both accepted to the SAME VETERINARY school--in Tennessee. Then my son married the love of his life (who we LOVE DEARLY--I feel so fortunate to have sons who have both chose beautiful soulmates). The wedding was PURE JOY! So beautiful and inspiring and such a celebration of TRUE LOVE.
     My baby sister had her first baby--my sweet little nephew! He was born on 12-13-14, and let me just tell you that he symbolizes such HOPE for our family. I also love the close bond it has regenerated with me and my sister and my parents.
     I was SUPER happy to KICK 2014 in the BUTT, as it went away. And, how incredibly ironic that the SICKEST I have ever been in my adult life was the last week of December of the crappiest year on record for me.
     To top things off, my health for sure took the backseat to life in general. Though I was trying to remain positive, I KNOW that all of the negative energy of 2014 manifested itself into a sick heart and mind and body.
     Yes, a new year can bring hope. Yes, we can make new resolutions. Yes, we can. For the first time in my entire relationship with Rick, I did not spend New Year's Eve with him. We had made plans with our grandchildren to go bowling--one of our family traditions--and, I was WAY TOO sick to go. I was seriously HEARTBROKEN and felt left out. Rick was wonderful; he knew how sad I was, and so he called me right at midnight (I was asleep finally), and he left such a sweet message. He came home and woke me up to wish me a HAPPY new year :)
     But, I will tell you. New Year's Eve was a night of intense soul searching for me. Super sick, fat, depressed, and feeling sorry for myself and all of the year's sad events, I just had the proverbial light bulb moment.
     I decided that #1 I was going to make ME a priority. I was going to focus on bringing the positive into my life. I was going to start saying NO to the things I really didn't want to do. And, BY GOLLY, 2015 was going to be MY YEAR!
     And, guess what? So far it has been :)
     TODAY is my 100th day of working out in a row. YES, that's consecutively. I don't even think I have ever worked out 100 days in a row in my entire life. The first week I started out at 20 minutes a day, and now I work out for at least 30 minutes, but many days I will even get an hour in! That's just cardio for now, but I am planning on getting a strength training program going soon.
     I also started using My Fitness Pal again, and YES, I've had 100 consecutive days of logging all of my calories and exercise. And, I only went over my calories on TWO days. TWO DAYS!
     I even LOST weight on our vacation last week. I lost a pound. But, I can say I have NEVER lost weight on vacation(another blog to come about that soon)!
     Keeping myself honest about what's going in my mouth has been VERY easy this time around, and quite satisfying actually.
     What are some of the benefits you may wonder? Well, I'm sleeping really well. Nothing hurts anymore. I have TONS more energy. I am WAY happier! I LOVE working out!!
     How about the weight benefit? So, on December 29th I weighed in at 267.8 pounds. THE MOST I HAVE EVER WEIGHED IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!
     I currently weigh 234 pounds. I have lost 33.8 pounds so far! I was wearing a TIGHT size 22 and am now easily in size 18 pants. I was only wearing 2x and 3x shirts, and now I am wearing some of my xl shirts :)
     I feel GREAT!
     My goal is to lose a total of 100 pounds, and I am one-third of the way there! My smaller goals are to lose 10 pounds a month, which so far I have been hitting my target.
     I am living proof that 100 days can make some HUGE changes in your life. And, when you consider that I haven't blogged for 612 days...100 days doesn't even seem like that long. Start your 100 days TODAY! It's never too late to take care of you :)
     It's kind of cool that RIGHT now I weigh 19.2 pounds less than I did 612 days ago when I blogged last.
     I'm going to start blogging again more regularly. I have things to share about this journey, and I love writing! I have noticed the roller coaster of my blogs and the correlation to that of my weight. Gonna blog to my goal this time!